Angelina Jolie’s Slave Has Evil Media-Deceiving Twin

It’s been a long couple of weeks for Angelina Jolie. Not only has she given birth to twins (one of them with the spine on the outside), but she’s also uncovered a previously unknown breed of dinosaur in her new French backyard, and her food cravings just before birth caused her to break through a bakery’s glass window pane and eat the little man she found in there frosting cakes. Except for the man she ate none of that’s true, of course, but it really doesn’t matter. If Angelina’s assistant has free reign to invent stories for the press than so do we. Or should we say her fake assistant. Yes, Jolie’s got some woman posing as her assistant going about issuing press statements construed primarily of falsehoods and deceit – that’s where the recent untrue news Jolie gave birth in France came from. Such horrific lies! Now that’s our kind of woman....
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